Thursday, November 4, 2010

Firemen

So I promised a tale of Halloween.

Siren is a genius when it comes to decorations. We rented the clubhouse in our apartment building to throw a Halloween party and I did not even recognize it when she was through. She got webs, candles, bloody wall decor, a fog machine, We both wanted this to be the biggest and most memorable party we have ever thrown and that is definitly what happened.

About three hours into the party the drinks ran dry and Siren and I had to walk back to our apartment to get whatever we could find. We stepped into teh elevator and as the doors shut the fire alarms started flashing.

Siren looked at me, "Is that our party?"

"SHIT" I started franticly pushing the third floor button on the elevator in an attempt to get back to the party.

When we got back to the third floor I ran down the hall to the clubhouse. Our guests were filing out of the clubhouse which was now full of fog. Siren took care of our guests and I ran to the stairs to catch the residents of our building as they were walking downstairs.

Neither Siren or I know many of the residents and I fully expected to be crucified and told off for waking them up. Our building consists mainly of commuters and business people. Basicly people who were not gonna be up our out partying on a sunday night even if it was Halloween.

I reached the stairs and opened them up to run down and I see residents filing down.

"Im really sorry," I say in a loud voice, "It was just a fog machine everything is all right. You can go back to your apartments."

A rather large man looks at me and says, "That all right can we take the elevators?"

I looked at him confused and then said, "Yeah you can take the elevators," because At that moment I remembered I was dressed as a fireman for Halloween.

I quickly walked away laughing.

The alarm shut off. Thinking it was over I walked back to the party and had a good laugh with my friends. Then I heard the sirens.

The firemen were actually really cool about the whole thing. But that's not the end of the story.

That night when we were cleaning the party up. I took out the trash. when I walked through the lobby I heard on the radio, "And we have fire chief ____ with us who is helping us keep track of all the false alarms and shenanigans that are going on this Halloween."

A deeper voice then came on the radio, "Hey we just had our sixth false alarm tonight caused by a fog machine. It was an apartment building down by the Ball park. normally during a false alarm you will get the entirety of the residents of a particular building out front waiting for us to tell them to go up. Well when we got there no one had come out. We didn't find out why until we went inside. The man throwing the party was dressed as a fireman. We are assuming when he told everyone it was a false alarm they must have thought he was one of us and left. That's pretty damn funny if you ask us."

so yeah, Siren and I through a Halloween party so wild it ended up on the late night radio news. Welcome to life. Definitely a Halloween party I will never forget.

RICHARD HEART


Richard Heart

Giants (2010)

Siren and I's dinner was punctuated by the occasional cheering of people at the bar. Neither of us are really into baseball but we enjoyed the excitement.
We finished our burgers and left before the game was over.
We began to walk home casually chatting.
About five blocks away from our apartment building traffic stops and everyone's horns all start up at once.
A man in the building above us starts screaming incoherently out his window.
Peoples headlights are flashing.
We walk a little further and the door to an adjacent building bursts open and a man runs out screaming his hands thrown in the air. A woman follows shortly after him.
It felt like the start of a Stephen King novel.
Both siren and I wish we were into sports.

RICHARD HEART

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Party

Siren and I have been planning this Halloween party for a month now. We have the decorations we have the guest list and we have the location. everything is in place. This is the biggest party we have ever thrown.

Ill tell you how it goes.


Richard Heart

Saturday, October 30, 2010

How I met Kitty

A while ago I befriended a girl who on this blog will henceforth be known as Kitty. Ive always enjoyed the story of how we met.

I took a student out to a cafe to demonstrate approaches and meet up with an Asian friend of mine we will call Rose. The fun part about Rose is when I meet her she always has someone new with her for me or my student to meet.

One of the problems with being a San Francisco Pick Up Artist is you run into a lot of Asian men and women who are barely able to communicate in English. And it seems like some don't even want to bother. So when approaching an Asian women you have to be ready for the one phrase most of them seem to know, "English no so good."

My student whom we will call Rocky was warned of this. The cafe was rather empty minus a single set of a very cute Asian girl. Being the only possible approach in the building I walked up and all I got out was, "Hi," and I smiled.

Before I could say anything else she muttered that dreaded phrase, "English no so good, sorry." Well I had to give her points for genuinely feeling bad about it. So i went back to the table and had a good laugh over it.

About fifteen minutes later Rose approached our table, I look up and she says, "Hey guys, this is my friend kitty." and there standing beside her is the cute Asian girl whom I had approached and been shot down by fifteen minutes previous.

Well needless to say kitty and I are now very good friends. And after a little practice with me her English has greatly improved.


RICHARD HEART

Monday, October 18, 2010

Personal Motivation

For me its easy
Watch one of the following movies and I'm ready to go

1. hitch
2. The ugly truth
3. peaceful warrior

Or just play the following song

1. Mr. Pinstripe suit by big bad voodoo daddy

Titanic, Two and Half Men, and Californication

Just a couple of thoughts here.
First of all last night Siren and I watched Titanic. A movie I probably haven't seen for at least ten years.
It was great, but something about the ending bothered me. The production value of this movie was amazing, the story was great, and the imagery was damn near flawless but the ending seemed weak.
First of all does anyone else think that on a ship that big there would have been more than one floating door? See what I'm saying? And the woman complaining how cold she is the entire time while he is in the water? What the hell? I think he has it a little worse than she did.
And then after hours of sitting in the freezing cold water, Leo dies. No surprise there, none at all. Most people who haven't even seen that movie no that Leo dies. But when she lets go of him he sinks? Did he turn into an ice cube? Was he literally frozen solid? No, he died of hypothermia! I do like James Cameron's foresight of not giving him a life jacket to make his sinking a little more plausible but common. As amazing an image as him sinking in the water is it just doesn't sit.
Last but not least the woman dropping the GIANT diamond into the ocean. What the Fuck? Does someone want to explain that to me? No matter the emotional significance of the diamond it would have secured her families well being for years to come. She could have put all of her grandchildren through college twice with that thing. Now don't tell me how it represents the life she left behind I'm aware of that but it doesn't make dropping it into the water a less stupid move.
As amazing as this film is the ending is logistically weak yet strong in imagery. Now that I have gotten that off of my chest.
Now I did realize something interesting about the Titanic. It is a good movie for pick up artists to watch. The attraction built between the main characters is very realistic and well done. On my other blog you can expect a PUA review and analysis. Trust me its going to be eye opening.
I'd like to talk about the two shows two and a Half Men and Californication and they're relevance to Pick up and Seduction. Well I would more like to talk about the main characters. Charlie Harper and Hank Moody.
These are both men who can get any woman they want. And they seemingly do not have to do much of anything. You would think that makes them great role models for the aspiring pick up artist to emulate right? Not entirely. In my mind a great television role model has to fit two requirements, Attitude and actual attractiveness to the women watching the show. Unfortunately neither of these shows have a huge female following. The seduction techniques these men use are completely unrealistic and somewhat laughable. Lets approach what is wrong with these characters and then tell you what you can take from them.

1. They both go on drinking and drug binges on a whim and still attract these ridiculously gorgeous women. Sorry guys it doesn't work. If you drink as much as they do you are gonna end up waking up next to a woman with a bad attitude (That's the nice way of putting it). Also think of it this way. You drink this much and even if you are successful you aren't gonna remember anything. Whats the point if you cant remember?

That is the BIG problem. There really is no technique to discuss. But what you can take from them is there attitude. Each of them know they can get women so it really doesn't matter. They really don't care. THIS IS ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN IN REAL LIFE.
The other thing to look at is there casual joking about sex. They are mature enough not to care. Go watch the shows and you will see what I mean. The ability to make a joke about how you are "trying to get her into bed" puts the thought into there heads and makes you more attractive to them because it shows sexual and emotional maturity.
Well this rant is over. I might post a more detailed analysis on Hank Moody and Charlie Harper on my other blog in the near future. So keep your eyes open and DONT BE AN AFC.

Friday, October 15, 2010

My life

Having nothing really to say or rant about at the moment I think I can share a little about my situation.
I live with my ex girlfriend. A girl people familiar with my other blog know as Siren. Who happens to be my best friend in the whole world and my business partner in teaching the art of Pick Up to men and women.
Simply put, I'm a professional Pick Up Artist who lives with his Ex Girlfriend.
Strange?
Yeah we think so, we actually find it fairly comical.
Now I'm sure your wondering what the women I meet think of the situation.
Prepare to be shocked as I constantly am.
They find it attractive.
Most women have had an experience where they break up with a guy and he turns into a total Dick. They throw the bond they had with this woman down the toilet. They say that they can just be friends but they seem to fuck it up somehow. And that is why when women look at my situation they think, "Wow this guy is cool," They admire the fact that my ex and I are so close. They admire the fact that we are still living together.
And what does this say about me?
I'm mature and not afraid of commitment. I moved in with my girlfriend. It shows that I am not an emotional idiot who goes nuts when things go bad because neither of us moved out when things got bad. We accepted it and moved forward. I'm not saying it didn't have some issues. But we did it. And the women I meet seem to like that.
Both Siren and I think its funny.
So learn from me people. Stay friends with your ex's it can pay off in a lot of ways. Siren is truly the best friend and roommate Ive ever had and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

RICHARD HEART